Decisions

As I continue to write about overcoming fear the storm does not stop and the pain comes like the rain as the tears drop. Mustering up strength to go on sometimes feel like a repetitive song. When will the crushing blows end sometimes staying focus and trying to get the win I wonder if this effort is worth the try. I try to cry but some tears won't fall, I try to run but all I can do is crawl. Do my murmuring make any sense?  At this moment can I trust God for the miracle? How do I cast my cares on him with the thought that he cares for me? No one is around to see me struggle for the victory? The fear of reality is wrapped up in a pessimistic scream as I try and hold on to my dream. I fight to not see an end with the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen. Quickly I snap out of that reaction, the fear of reality is not my actuality. My existing conditions or facts is that on the scriptures I declare to act. I will lift up my eyes from where my help comes, because this is all I can cling to in the storm as the battle rages on. 

The different versions of Psalm 119:117 helped me deal with the fear of reality

New International Version
Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees.

New Living Translation
Sustain me, and I will be rescued; then I will meditate continually on your decrees.

English Standard Version
Hold me up, that I may be safe and have regard for your statutes continually!

New American Standard Bible
Uphold me that I may be safe, That I may have regard for Your statutes continually.

King James Bible
Hold thou me up, and I shall be safe: and I will have respect unto thy statutes continually.

Holman Christian Standard Bible
Sustain me so that I can be safe and always be concerned about Your statutes.

International Standard Version
Support me, that I may be saved, and I will carry out your statutes consistently.